What not to buy your Woman for Christmas

Men, are you struggling to think of appropriate gifts for the special lady in your life? Do you need some help in the present department? If your partner in crime has not given you a list with store names, directions and catalogue numbers then she really does deserve whatever amazing idea you can come up with. And although on Shopperbase we have featured plenty of articles to help you in the run up to Christmas, if you’ve been helplessly wandering around shopping malls with a glazed look on your face, we thought we’d go one step further and tell you what you definitely should not buy your woman for Christmas. So ease yourself out of Wickes and Homebase, put down that Anne Summers brochure and read on, it may just save your relationship..

Saucy Santa Underwear

Really? You really thought this would be a good idea? Not only is buying your lady lingerie fraught with misinterpretation, but unless you know her exact size, you buy a very expensive silk and lace combo and keep it just this side of classy, it’s as if you are buying it for your own satisfaction. I know, I know, you want to be the metrosexual male and she wants to be the willing modern partner but guys, think about it, a saucy Santa is for one night only and definitely for one thing only, and believe me, you won’t be getting any for a while if you buy her this.


Any type of kitchen appliance

Now the only thing that is the exception to this rule is a fancy new coffee maker; you know the ones I mean, one of those pod types that take Costa Coffee capsules. And make sure you include loads of the capsules. Any else, such as an iron, a washing machine, a juicer, a vacuum cleaner, a microwave, a dish washer, a fat fryer, a blender, a soup maker, a cup cake decorator, I don’t care if she has begged you for it in the past, do not buy her one for Christmas. Repeat after me, kitchen appliances are not for Christmas, they are things you buy anyway because you need them, they are not for presents. I mean, how would you like it if she bought you a few shirts for work for Christmas?

Photo Credit: Argos

Photo Credit: Argos

Exercise DVDs

So you are seriously saying her bum is big in that? You are heading for a permanent head lock if you buy her a work out dvd. Not only are they tedious and boring, but they are hard work and no fun! Oh and for the record, any type of exercise gear is also a big no no, so that includes dumb bells, even cute pink coloured ones, skipping ropes (she’s over 30 not 13), crunch bars (I’m not talking about Selection boxes) or step boxes. Keep away from anything exercise related. And if she asks, her weight is ideal the way it is.

essexercise_2091942aFigure Shaping underwear

Talking of underwear and weight, if you think it would be a good idea to buy your woman some Spanx body shaping undies think again. She can buy them, and she can wear them everyday if she likes, but you cannot and never will be able to buy them for her. That’s the law I believe in the UK and you can actually do serious time if you flout it.


Novelty Slippers

Actually, novelty anything, novelty jumpers, novelty jewellery, novelty gadgets, women don’t really like novelty stuff, here’s a great tip for you and you can take this wherever you go and use it for any occasion; women don’t do novelty, men do, but women don’t. Women prefer class, men like jokey stuff, okay? Glad we got that sorted.


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