Being asked to be maid of honour for your best friend’s wedding is a huge deal, but many people don’t quite know what is or isn’t expected of them. It’s easy to end up doing either too much, or too little, so it’s always good to understand precisely what a maid of honour should, or shouldn’t do.
A lot of people fail to grasp that a maid of honour’s duties aren’t isolated to the wedding day. You have other duties centred on the wedding preparations, which will take place well in advance. The best thing you can do as a maid of honour is to keep your eyes and ears open and offer to help whenever you can.
Organising the hen do is a big responsibility for any maid of honour. Sort out the guest list, the venue, and the activities. This doesn’t mean you need to pay for it all, just that you need to figure out who will be going where, and to make any bookings required.
If you plan on doing anything outlandish like Zorbing or bungee jumping, you need to be checking with the bride and making sure she’s going to be happy about it all, but don’t be afraid to book something that’s a little more ‘out there’ if that is her style, or something she’d like to try.
Involve the other hens and let them know that their suggestions are welcome. It won’t be any fun for the bride if one of her hens doesn’t like the do, so make sure everyone’s on the same page and can participate as much as possible. During the hen do, take charge and make sure she gets to relax while she enjoys herself.
Another activity the maid of honour is expected to participate in is wedding dress shopping. A lot of people are tempted, here, to either be completely honest or say they love every dress and everything makes the bride look beautiful. But if you think about it, neither of those is a very helpful option as one will lead to hurt feelings and the other may lead to the bride buying a dress she won’t be happy with. So strive for a middle ground; be honest, but be gentle about it, and don’t say things like, “You look…” but try instead to go for, “I’m not crazy about the way it…” This allows you to blame the dress rather than the bride’s appearance, and will help her make an informed choice whilst also letting her feel beautiful on her special day.
During the wedding, you may be required to run interference between the bride and some awkward acquaintances or relatives. Tread carefully; you don’t want to insult anyone as that can lead to drama the bride and groom won’t want to deal with on their wedding day. With some diplomacy, you can make sure everything runs as smoothly as possible.
Being chosen as someone’s maid of honour should be considered a wonderful compliment. If you don’t shirk on your duties you can help turn the festivities into the most wonderful day the bride and groom could have hoped for.