A new mobile phone, designed just for women, has been showcased at the Barcelona Mobile World Congress last month.
So what does this smart new phone have to offer us women?
Does it have a new app to help with multi-tasking? Or perhaps a scheduling calendar to aid with fitting in the family’s appointments and after school activities? Maybe it can assist in stretching a £40 weekly food budget for two adults and four kids?
No, it does none of these things. It is circular. Yes, you heard it, the phone is a circle, and that is supposed to appeal to women all over the world because, and wait for it, because rectangular phones destroy our clothes.
Now you might think that could have only been dreamt up by some suits with no idea of how the modern woman has to live their life in the 21st century.
But surprisingly, and this is this most disappointing part of the whole concept, the idea for the circular, clothes-saving phone was created by two women, yes, women.
The Cyrcle, and that spelling has also irritated the hell out of me, is the ‘brainchild’ of Christina Cyr and Linda Inagawa. These two rising stars in smart phone technology are actually former Microsoft employees.
Apparently, this circular travesty is for women who have smaller pockets than men, and therefore cannot put their iPads or phablets into their suits or jackets. Ever heard of a handbag?
This ridiculous concept has not been backed by any corporations or banking institutions, instead, the canny pair of business women are turning to crowd funding to get their money.
The Cyrcle will cost $100 each and is said to resemble a woman’s compact mirror. It will be produced in bright colours, because women obviously like shiny new things, and work as a flip case.
The company behind the monstrosity is Dtoor, which apparently stands for “Designing the opposite of rectangle”. Of course it does.
The pair hoping to launch the round phone say it is a much more feminine product, as the traditional rectangle smart phone makes women look “unattractive”. They describe them as “moms at a volleyball practice pecking like chickens into their mobile phones.”
The Cyrcle is said to be “a more natural and sensual form”, and a more discreet and lady-like way of communicating.
According to the spiel on the crowd funding site, there’s more behind the concept, although what on earth this has to do with the shape being a circle I do not know.
The founders say that the female friendly design is an advantage because “”women love to talk, text, and communicate through any means available on smartphones with their family, friends, and lovers.”
I say without any hesitation that this is probably the most cringe-worthy product, aimed the female population I have ever seen. Apart from perhaps one, that pink iPad was pretty awful too.
What really irritates me is that Microsoft employees are behind this monstrosity. One of the founders – Christina Cyr, has previously worked on nuclear submarines, been an AIDS researcher in Los Angeles, and worked as a biochemist in Japan.
She in particular should hang her head in shame.
I’m going to make a serious prediction now, and that is that this product does not reach its target and production never gets off the ground.
I’d love to know what you think.
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