Break-ups are a hard, but unavoidable part of life. Whether you’re the one pulling the plug, or the one being broken up with, break-ups are a difficult, emotionally traumatic situation and dealing with them is a complex process. Dealing with them well is virtually impossible. Read on for some tips on how to do so as best you can.
Find a Friend.
Don’t suffer alone. As soon as you have broken up, or been broken up with, find a close friend and pour out your heart. Good friends will be there for you, and they will be able to help you cope and process what’s happened. They’re also invaluable in terms of identifying what you need from future relationships. Be understanding; your friend hasn’t exactly planned for this! But between your closest friends, you can work out a rota meaning you don’t have to go through it all alone.
Binge eating is a bad idea. But give yourself a bit of leeway; if you need to have a pint of Ben & Jerry’s just to start the coping process, you can have one. Just don’t take it too far! Watching maudlin films that’ll make you cry is all right, too. Don’t underestimate the cathartic power of The Lake House or Philadelphia – just make sure you don’t elicit too many negative emotions when you’re all alone. It’s all right sobbing along with your best mates, but crying yourself to sleep at 3 in the morning isn’t the best idea!
When it comes to indulging, not everything has to be bad for you. Treat yourself to a pamper day at the spa, or just get a luxurious bath bomb from Lush and spend a few hours soaking in the tub with a good book. There is no reason to deny yourself the greatness of self-indulgence in a healthy way – ever! Just let yourself relax and remember you can really enjoy the bathroom for hours now you’re single.
List the Good Things You’ve Missed Out On.
It may seem silly, but even people in the healthiest relationships sometimes miss things they had when they were single. Blasting music he didn’t like, for example, or watching Desperate Scousewives in your pyjama bottoms. Make a list, and add to it every time you think of something. It doesn’t matter whether it’s the smallest thing ever like clipping your toenails in bed: the more, the merrier. Just be sure you don’t turn it into a list of things you won’t miss about him – that’s a negativity you don’t need. It’s all right to list those things, but list them separately and, when you’re ready, burn the list. You can be grateful for good things indefinitely, but holding onto a grudge isn’t healthy for anybody.
Get Ready for Dating Again.
It may have been a while, and if it has, get your glad rags on. It’s time to go out on a date! Don’t rush yourself – and don’t follow anybody else’s schedule but your own. Remember that dating is meant to be fun, and take it in a light-hearted way. Relax… It’s fun to be single, and you’ll find someone new when the time is right. In the meantime – enjoy browsing!